1. Triple H out to start the show by telling the world that he wont face the Undertaker because he "feels sorry for him".
Hunter basically says that Taker is WWE's version of 'Old Yeller' and needs to call it quits.
Lights out and we get a decent video from the Deadman saying "Its not over".
I like that for once a Taker 'Mania match isnt being built around someone chasing the streak. They're building it to be more about redemption for the Undertaker. Good stuff.
2. Non-Title: Daniel Bryan vs The Big Show
AJ out in a neckbrace, Boy do I not care about this chick. As soon as I typed that Big Show almost runs right through her, but is able to stop his momentum.
Bryan takes AJ by the hand and walks out on the match.
Winner by Countout: Big Show
Post match: Bryan grabs the mic and continues to hit that vegan button hard, Punk Strait Edge Society style, before saying that he will remain World Champion after the Elimination Chamber PPV.
3. NASCAR driver Carl Edwards does some doughnuts outside, then drives his car into the arena, before being greeted by John Cena.
Cena will start the Daytona 500 and I couldn't care any less. Jeremy hates NASCAR.
4. David Otunga out in a sweater vest and sipping on his mug of Big Johnny's semen. Captain Kiss Ass then prays for the WWE Board of Directors not fire Laurinaitis.
here is something worse:
Triple H then forces Otunga into an impromptu match against Sheamus.
5. Sheamus vs David Otunga
Otunga gets in a few good shots before taking a Brogue Kick and counting the lights.
Winner: Sheamus
6. Its Freddie Mercury!!! No, wait its Jericho and the LED Dreamcoat!!
Y2J on the mic. He basically says the same things that he has been saying on Twitter for the last year and calls everyone Chris Jericho ripoffs, naming the Miz, Kofi, Ziggler, and of course CM Punk.
Living Colour hits and its Pipebomb time. But just when you think you know all the answers, Punk trolls Jericho right back and says NOTHING before leaving the ring. This infuriates Y2J!! HAHAHAHA, Good stuff!!
I guess Jericho now has one more thing to say has been stolen from him.
7. Wade Barrett & Cody Rhodes vs The Great Khali & Randy Orton
Khali steals the win for his team, and Orton is angry! Khali grabs the Viper by the throat, but Orton breaks it and hits the RKO on the "Great Krappi".
8. Beth Phoenix, Natalya, The Bella Twins vs Eve, Kelly Kelly, Alicia Fox, Tamina
Before I could even finish typing the Divas that are in this match, its over.
Winners: Eve, Kelly, Fox, and Tamina
9. Triple H is confronted by Big Johnny. Lauriniatis says that next week Shawn Michaels will be on Raw and Kane and John Cena will meet in an Ambulance match at Elimination Chamber. I like those Ideas. Moving on.
10. 6 Pack Challenge: CM Punk vs The Miz vs. R-Truth vs Dolph Ziggler vs Kofi Kingston vs Chris Jericho
This one is getting me pumped for their Chamber match. Truth dives onto Miz and hits hard. Tons of action until its just Punk and Jericho in the ring, they stare each other down, but its broken up by the other participants. They fight onto one of the corners, Tower of Doom suplex!!! This is pretty awesome. Ziggler sells the GTS like a boss. Jericho pulls Punk out and get the win for himself. Jericho garbs the WWE Title and sits cross-legged in the center of the ring, CM Punk style.
Winner: Chris Jericho
11. Kane has Eve trapped backstage. He says if Cena doesn't #EmbraceTheHate he is afraid for everyone...and afraid of himself.
END
I think that all the angles are there but that there was far too much talking and promo work; there should have been more matches.
ReplyDeleteJericho was perfect on the mic and got one-upped in so many ways by Punk. The 6 Pack challenge was a decent match and did promote the Elimination Chamber well.
My biggest issue was with HHH and his long-winded speech to start the show. You're supposed to hype the crowd, not lull them into their seats. Easily could have been the last segment of the night.
Thanks for the review!
-Sam Bowden, Founder of Eclectik Entertainment