WWE Monday Night RAW 7/30/2012
The U.S. Bank Arena Cincinnati, OH
The roof is on fire.
Tonight's Raw was in question due to a fire on the Raw set. Thankfully, they were able to get it under control in time to get the fans back into the arena before the show started. I am under the assumption that Vince McMahon paid high dollar to the Fire Marshall to OK the show to go on. And to that I say, THANK YOU VINCE'S WALLET!!!!
WWE Monday Night RAW 7/2/2012
The Laredo Energy Arena Laredo, TX
This review is once again brought to you by Vodka, helping me forget shitty wrestling shows since I was a teenager.
All the Raw Main Eventers verbally spar to open the show
If they want to begin Raw with a bunch of talking, this is how you do it. We had Punk, Cena, Bryan, Jericho, and Kane all trading insults. Usually we only get two guys in the ring talking back and forth, by adding more personalities to the mix it was far more entertaining than the days of Cena and Orton boring the crowd in the first 10 minutes of the show. I refer to those days as the "Dark Ages". Big Show then comes out and we have a brawl on our hands. Big Show ends up standing tall like a good heel should.
Am I the only one who already knows that Cena is going to win MITB and cash it in for a match with Punk at Summerslam? Not only would it be face vs face, but it would be a rematch of last years SS main event. And could this possibly be where Cena finally turns heel? Just think about it, Cena becomes the first man to not successfully cash in the breifcase and snaps on Punk.
I doubt they will do this, but how awesome would it be? Cena is beyond stale and the hardcore audience has been begging for him to 'Go to the Darkside' for years. Time to pull the trigger in my book.
I enjoyed the shit out of this segment. Just a really good way to open the show.
Eight Man Tag: Christian, Santino, Kofi Kingston, and R-Truth vs The Primetime Players, Cody Rhodes, and David Otunga
It's good to see R-Truth back from his injury. I was starting to think they were just going to go back to ignoring the Tag Division. Glad that's not the case, but I still see "Trouble in Little Jimmy's Paradise" dropping the belts to The Primetime Players, probably at the Pay Per View in an unadvertised match. Dark Ages indeed...
Finish: The Primetime Players and Rhodes both leave Otunga during the match (Can you blame them?). Then out comes Brodus Clay to make sure Otunga doesn't take off too. Otunga then suffers the Cobra to end it.
Winners: Christian, Santino, Kofi, and Truth
Post Match: Christian hits Otunga with the Killswitch, followed by a Big Splash from Clay. They then dance with a bunch of kids '95 Shawn Michales style. I hate children.
Alberto Del Rio vs Sin Cara
Del Rio destoyed Sin Cara before the match could begin. Can you say burial?
Winner: No Contest
Paul Heyman responds to Triple H's challenge
So Brock will be at the 1000th Raw (AKA 999th episode in reality) to give Triple H his answer.
This is pretty much non-news. I figured that is when Lesnar would make his return. But in order to get some heat back on this feud they need to have Lesnar make it personal. And I think the perfect way to do this is to have Brock destroy Shawn Michaels. And if not HBK, then another one of Hunter's Klique buddies.
The issue between these two has been deflating ever since Brock broke Triple H's arm. They need to go big, and go big soon. And if they are holding off until July 23rd to have Lesnar back on TV, there won't be much time to get it done. And just imagine the sympathy that a guy like Michales could invoke by being taken out by Lesnar. Or even Sean Waltman for that matter. We will just have to wait and see.
Dolph Ziggler & Vickie Guererro vs Sheamus & AJ
AJ is looking good tonight, or is it just that she looks good in comparison to Vickie? I know that Guererro gives my buddy Chris Berg huge boners, but he's gay so what does he know? #Burn
As for the match, it was just a collection of Ziggler selling dirt to the homeless. What's new?
Finish: Ziggler takes a Brogue Kick to the outside, and AJ hits Vickie with a Shining Wizard to get the win.
Winners: Sheamus & AJ
Heath Slater vs Doink The Clown
I don't remember Doink ever wrestling in Walmart sneakers. I guess you learn something new everyday.
Finish: Slater with a Neckbreaker gets the duke.
Winner: Heath Slater
Post Match: Out comes Diamond Dallas Page!! He throws up the Diamond sign with Slater before hitting him with the Diamond Cutter.
Page still looks great considering he was already in his fourties when he was on top in WCW. I wouldn't mind seeing him have one more run, unless he plans on putting over David Arquette again. In that case he can die in a fire. #FuckYouBealer
No Disqualifacations: The Big Show vs Kane
Where have I seen this before? Oh yeah, at least three times a year since 1998. Silly me.
Finish: Show Chokeslams Kane onto a chair to get the win.
Winner: The Big Show
Remember when Kane returned as a monster heel and was terrorizing everyone in sight? Yeah, I don't either.
Tyson Kidd vs Tensai
Finish: Tyson Kidd with the quick roll up.
Winner: Tyson Kidd
Post Match: Tensai smacks around his follower.
This wasn't much of a match, but the fact that they're building Tyson Kidd has me thrilled. They guy is a fantastic wrestler who should've been pushed two years ago when they split up The Hart Dynasty. They had a chance to build up both him and DH Smith back then, but ended up releasing Smith and sticking Tyson on Superstars. They had something with both guys, and I don't know WWE has waited this long to capitalize on Kidd.
Back from the break Tensai destroys Kidd in the lockroom
How long has it been since we saw a good old locker room beat down? Too long is the answer. It seemed fresh and I have to say I liked it. It reminded me of back in 1988 when Randy Savage attacked Hulk Hogan in the lead up to wrestlemania 5. We need more segments like this, I am so tired of seeing the grey hallways in the backstage areas.
CM Punk & John Cena vs Chris Jericho & Daniel Bryan
Great match to end Raw, and when is the last time I said that? I mean go figure, you put a great match at the end of Raw and people respond, it's not rocket surgery. I hope with Raw going three hours in two weeks that they will remember this. I am so worried that WWE is going to stuff those shows with so much filler that is will ruin the pacing of the show. Whenever they've done three hour shows in the past they've done just that.
But I can't praise this match enough. It was a far cry from being Cena vs Cole II.
Finish: Cena & Jericho brawl to the back apparently to watch an advance screening of No Hold Barred on Blu Ray. This leaves Punk & Bryan to fight it out in the ring. Before long, out comes AJ who searches out, and sets up a table. She then procedes to threaten to commit tablecide, as she climbs the ropes and stares down at the table below. Daniel Bryan then tries to talk her down, followed by Punk. AJ then plants a wet one on Punk, before pushing him off the apron into Bryan, causing both men to go through the table. AJ looks to be happy with her actions as the show goes off the air.
Winners: No Contest
Final Verdict: This was a pretty damn good episode of Raw. I can't really complain too much about any segment on this show. I was entertained throughout, and that's all we can ask for, right?
WWE Monday Night RAW 5/28/2012
The New Orleans Arena New Orleans, LA
1. The Big Show's rant to open Raw.
I am not digging the Cena/Show feud at all. Don't get me wrong, I'm a Big Show fan, but I don't want to see him in the main feud on Raw. And as far as John Cena goes, why should I even care about his programs anymore? In two months time he has finished his one off feud with The Rock, Beaten Brock Lesnar, and now he is boring the piss out of me along with The Big Show. Just give the guy some damn direction already. Now that I have said that, we will get a six month Cena/Show program. FML.
Back to tonight's opener, It just went on, and on, and on. At the 15 minute mark I was starting to wonder when he would get to the point...and then it ended. I think Show is great on the mic, but in small doses. The monologue started off alright. I felt his anger when he spoke of how after he was left a 7 foot tall puddle of tears in the ring once getting fired, and the very next segment was Brodus Clay in the ring dancing, he was made to seem like an after thought. But as the minutes ticked by, he began to lose me. But I will say that it seems that they have been able to use Show's turn to rally the Cenation, which is good I guess.
2. Non-title: Alberto Del Rio vs Santino
This wasn't even really a match, so I don't have an opinion about it one way or the other. But if this is leading to a Santino vs Ricardo match, I am so down.
Finish: Santino goes for the Cobra early, but he gets stopped. Del Rio slaps on the Cross Armbreaker and Santino taps out.
Winner: Alberto Del Rio
3. Alex Riley gets some TV time...and gets splattered against a brick wall by the Big Show.
I like Alex Riley, last year he had an entertaining feud with The Miz, which I thought was one of the better things going at the time. Riley seemed like he was on the cusp of a big break out when he suddenly disappeared. I know getting destroyed by The Big Show in a backstage segment wont get him a renewed push. But the kid should use every opportunity given him to get himself over, since WWE obviously could care less about him.
Speaking of taking every chance to get over, enter Dolph Ziggler. I know that he wont get a push as long as he is stuck with Swagger, so I hope this will be their last shot at the Tag Titles. If he is put back on his own, Ziggler can go places...Once WWE sees what most people have, and that is Ziggler equals money.
This small feud for the Tag Titles has done it's job of getting Kofi & Truth over as a legit tag team, and this match capped it off.
Finish: R-Truth hits Pay Dirt to get the three count and retain the titles.
Post Match: Dolph Ziggler is pissed at losing yet another tag match, and takes it out on Swagger and Vicky Guerrero. "I'm better than this, I'm Dolph Ziggler" He screams before walking to the locker room alone. YES! YES! YES!
5. Big Show attempts to take out Santino in the back, but he is stopped by Brodus Clay.
Tonight we get The Big Show vs The Funkasaurus. At least Clay wont be squashing anyone tonight. It's progress, I guess. But I have a feeling that he will be the one getting squashed this time around.
6. Big Johnny takes up TV time that would've been better used with, you know, matches.
He says that the Big Show/Cena match at No Way Out 2012 is now a Steel Cage match (Shocker). He then unveils that HE will be on the cover of WWE '13 and shows off a mock-up portrait of what the cover will be...This brings out the legit cover boy, CM Punk.
Punk then lets the cat out of the bag, and has a huge banner of the true WWE '13 cover dropped from the cieling. This leads to the line of the night.
CM Punk: "I never got to say this to your face, but mine is bigger than yours" Ha!
Punk then tells Laurinaitis to hit the bricks, then destroys Big Johnny's fake cover portrait.
Match of the night without a doubt (DUH!). I do question why they are giving the rematch to WWE's top bout of the last month for free. But I am not going to complain. I would watch these two face off every week if I could. THIS is what I want to see out of a WWE Title feud.
This was the back and forth WRESTLING match that one would expect. Their styles mesh so beautifully that it's hard to tell which guy is "The Best".
Before we go to a break, that crazy bitch AJ makes her way to ringside. I am usually not for story lines that inject a Diva into a perfectly good feud, but AJ has an insane version of Miss Elizabeth thing going that I am liking. Back from the break Punk is taking a beating from Bryan.
Finish: We get several more minutes of back and forth action before Daniel Bryan pulls the pad off of the turnbuckle. AJ gets on the ring apron to voice her displeasure about Bryan's antics. Punk tells her to get down before running at Bryan looking for his high knee in the corner, but Bryan catches him with a Stun Gun into the exposed steel. 1-2-3 and it's over.
Winner: Daniel Bryan
Post Match: Kane is in to get revenge on Bryan for taking a beating on Smackdown. The Big Red Monster destroys Bryan with a chair, then turns to Punk who is handed a chair of his own by AJ. Punk is able to attack Kane before he gets some of what was given to Daniel Bryan. Punk beats the hell out of Kane with the chair, which sends "The Devil's favorite demon" running.
I don't like Kane being added to this feud, but so far I am entertained by what they are doing with it.
Lawler and Cole plug the fact that Jericho has been suspended without letting anyone know what went down. Instead they send us to WWE.com for the details. Nice way to get hits on the homepage, guys.
Cody Rhodes is at ringside for this one, but leaves commentary before the end to try to cause a distraction to Christian.
Nice little match from these two. Why not add Miz to the IC Title feud? Like we saw in the last segment, WWE does like to stick random stars into programs. I kid, I kid.
Finish: Christian hits the Killswitch to set up the Frog Splash for the Three count.
9. The Miz bitches about losing to Christian in the ring. Randy Orton then lays him out with an RKO for no reason.
I guess they had to come up with something for Orton to do since Jericho has been suspended. But why waste TV time like this? Isn't Orton a Smackdown star? Couldn't they do this on their own show? Blah.
Backstage: After watching what Orton did to The Miz, Dolph Ziggler tells Vicky that he is done with being in a random tag team with Jack Swagger. Preach on brother, Ziggler. Vicky tells him to let her see what she can do.
Are they plugging Ziggler into a program with Orton in Jericho's absence? If so, this could be bad. Remember when CM Punk feuded with Orton last year? Punk lost EVERY match of their feud that lasted several months. That being said, If they wanted someone who could put over The Viper and sell for him like none other, Ziggler is their man. That being said, Ziggler NEEDS to be put over for a change. He is one major win from being seen as a legit star. Dont be short sighted here WWE. You want to be a star? Then MAKE a star for a change. /rant.
10. It's announced that the WWE Title will be defended on Smackdown for the first time in 8 years as Punk will defend against Kane this week.
I will have to check into that one, I'm calling shenanigans though. The WWE Title was once the property of the blue brand, so how is that possible?
The Big Show comes out and takes to the mic saying that Clay is an embarrassment and is lesser than even Doink the Clown, before spearing and laying into an all out assault on The Funkasaurus. Kofi and Truth try to stop Show from taking apart Clay, to no avail. Show then crushes the announce table and uses the side of it to pummel Brodus.
This gets the crowd rooting for John Cena in a huge way. I thought that this was impossible, but WWE has managed to make Cena into a force again. Too bad for Clay and The Tag Champs that Cena was a no show tonight, as Big Show continues to pick them apart as the show ends, but not before showing the carnage over again in a replay.
Winner: No Contest as the match never happened.
Final Verdict: This show wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it would be. Coming into tonight's episode all we knew was The Big Show would be prominently featured, and we wouldn't be getting the follow up to Orton/Jericho.
The show started out kind of shitty with Big Show talking...and talking. But it picked up in the middle as we got a great TV match between Punk and Bryan and found out that Ziggler will be going solo once again after a decent tag team match that featured "The Show Off". Plus the Christian/Rhodes story continued which is good business no matter how you look at it.
It did dip again with Sheamus vs Otunga, But the final segment, while it ruined the aura of Brodus Clay (bad), it did help to give Cena more vigor (good) at least as far as the New Orleans crowd is concerned. I will have to call the last segment a wash for that reason alone though. Sacrificing a new star in Clay, for an established one in Cena is a good/bad situation. But I guess they feel Cena needs all the help he can get after losing to The Rock. Why else have him beat Lesnar, followed by being made to look like a member of the Avengers against The Big Show as I'm sure where this will all lead.
