Tuesday, May 1, 2012

The Raw Review 4/30/2012

WWE Monday Night RAW
April 30th, 2012
The Nutter Center Dayton, OH

1. Triple H confronts Lesnar.

Hunter denies all of Lesnar's demands from last week, causing Lesnar to attack HHH, and brake the COO's arm. The Locker room empties to save the boss.

I liked this segment, although it ran a bit long and Lesnar looked lost out there. Lesnar needs a mouthpiece, end of story. That way he can do what he does best, stand around and look scary as hell. I also found it funny that Sheamus was one of the stars who ran to Triple H's aid, given their past. I mean the guy put The Game out for almost a year with a lead pipe to the back of the head. Its little things like this that make me laugh.

2. Speaking of looking lost, Eve announces that we have beat the clock matches tonight. I haven't seen acting that bad since...well, last week on this very show.

3. Beat The Clock Match #1: The Miz vs Santino

I really wanted The Miz to win the title during the pre-show on Sunday. WWE has had their fun, its time to take the belt off of Santino. I have said before that comedy characters dont need, and shouldn't have titles. But they feel differently I guess.

Finish: Miz hits the Skull Crushing Finale to put Santino down at 4:18.

Winner: The Miz by Pinfall

4. Diva's Championship: Layla© vs Nikki Bella vs Bri Bella

This match lasted maybe 20 seconds, Im ok with that.

Finish: Layla sends Nikki into Bri and gets a quick roll up.

Winner and Still Champion: Layla©

5. Beat The Clock Match #2: Chris Jericho vs The Big Show

I've always liked the chemistry between these two, either as a team or one on one. Not much to say about this match as it wasn't given enough time to mean anything.

Here's a fun fact, My Wife loves her some Big Show. She says he looks like a giant teddy bear and wants to keep him. Can you imagine how much Show Chow one would need to keep him alive? And I'm not cleaning his litter box, not happening.

Finish: Both men are on the outside and it takes the ref a whole 30 seconds to count to 10. Jericho gets back in the ring just in time. But its declared that neither man beat the clock, so Miz's time will stand at 4:18. What a confusing mess, but thats live TV folks.

Winner by Countout: Chris Jericho

6.  Brodus Clay vs JTG

Squish Squash. JTG did get a little offense, but not enough obviously. Too bad this wasn't a beat the clock match as I dont think anyone would beat that time.

Finish: T-Bone suplex and a big splash sends JTG packing.

Winner by Pinfall: Brodus Clay

Brodus then brings some kids in to dance with him and his ho's. Funny moment as the little white kid was the only one who couldn't dance. Figures.

7. Backstage Eve gives Big Johnny a pep talk. And apparently he knows who it will be, and he wont like it. As long as he doesn't say that it will be John vs Johnny, Im cool.

8. Beat The Clock Match #3: Randy Orton vs Jack Swagger

Why not Orton vs Ziggler? That would be a decent match. But no, Im forced to watch Boring vs Even More Boring. You decide who is who.

Finish: Orton escapes the Ankle Lock and nails an RKO with 2 seconds left. New time to beat 4:16.

Winner by Pinfall: Randy Orton

9. WWE Tag Team Titles: Epico & Primo© vs R-Truth & Kofi Kingston

What? A Tag Title Match? How ingenious!! I really want to believe that Triple H will be the voice of change when it comes to Tag Team wrestling in WWE. I will hold out hope, as it's all I have.

Finish: Trouble in Paradise and we have new champs. I can like it.

Winners and NEW Tag Team Champions: R-Truth & Kof Kingston

10. Epico, Primo, and Rosa argue backstage. They are approched by Abraham Washington as we go to the next match.

I hate Washington, but having Managers making a comeback in WWE is great. Now somebody hire Paul Heyman to speak for Lesnar, please.

11. Beat The Clock Match #4: The Great Khali vs Kane

Dammit, I really want to like Kane. But the opponents he has been put against since he got the mask back, haven't been steller. First his boring ass feud with Cena, followed by his boring ass feud with Orton, and now a beat the clock match with Khali? Put me out of my misery!!

Finish: Both men go for Chokeslams as the clock runs out.

Winner: No Contest

12. Beat The Clock Match #5: Daniel Bryan vs Jerry Lawler

Lawler? Really? Ok, as long as Bryan wins. Punk vs Bryan given time on PPV? Can you say, YES?!

Finish: Bryan slaps on the Yes Lock and Lawer taps out. Bryan wins the Beat The Clock Challenge!! Yes! Yes! Yes! I could see WWE wanting to add Jericho to the match as a way to stack the deck against Punk. Either way, that is going to be an awesome match.

Winner and #1 Contender for the WWE title at Over The Limit: Daniel Bryan

Punk comes out to the stage to congradulate Bryan after the match.

13. Cena finds out who Big Johnny has signed as his next opponent.

As Han Solo said "I have a bad feeling about this.."

After yaking back and forth, Lord Tensai comes out and goes face to face with Cena. Big Johnny then nails Cena with a mic and declares that Cena will face HIM at Over The Limit.

I think a small part of me just died.

Big Johnny, Tensai, and his follower then destroy Cena's arm. They wrap his arm around the post and Lauranaitis nails it with a steel chair to end the show.

Final Vedict: This show had it's moments, but still fell way short. Cena vs Lauranaitis? Ref botches? Khali wrestling and Ziggler not? Give me a break.

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