Tuesday, May 8, 2012

The Raw Review 5/7/2012

WWE Monday Night RAW 5/7/2012
Greensboro Coliseum Greensboro, North Carolina

1. Big Johnny puts the entire locker room on notice.

Did you know that Laurinaitis was bigger than Hogan, Austin, and The Rock all rolled into one when he wrestled in Japan? Well I didn't. I only remember Johnny Ace, the tag team partner of Shane Douglas in WCW who would carry a skateboard to the ring as one half of The Dynamic Dudes. That's the Big Johnny I remember. I wonder if he ever learned to ride that skateboard?

Punk crashes the party and mocks Laurinaitis.

This was kinda lame, and reminded me too much of a school yard name calling contest. Punk is better than this. They have managed to kill this revisionist Austin/McMahon storyline off in favor of instead doing it with John Cena. Because you just cant have someone in a bigger program than Cena, WWE Champion or not.

 As punishment for his comments toward Laurinaitis, tonight it will be Punk vs Lord Tensai. Just meh.

2. Big Show bumps into Big Johnny. Laurinaitis gives him hell and walks off. Show then makes fun of Johnny's voice, which is caught by Eve. Yawn.

3. Intercontinental Title: Cody Rhodes© vs The Big Show

This was garbage. Not even really a match.

Finish: Cody high tails it with the title and gets counted out.

Winner: The Big Show

Post Match: Eve comes out and forces Show to apologize for mocking the GM.

Was that last match only made so Eve could play her administrative Bitch routine? It was just a way to further the story of Big Johnny/Eve laying down the law. This is not what you do in a Intercontinental Title match if you ask me. It's no wonder why their titles mean dick these days. Remember when matches on Raw meant something? Yeah, me neither.

4. Dolph Ziggler vs Kofi Kingston

This could very well be a future PPV main event. As anyone who knows me will tell you, I have little doubt that Ziggler has a bright future, and Kofi Kington too for that matter. I think a Kofi heel turn would serve him extremely well. Give the guy a little edge to his character and he could go far. But coming out and smiling every week wont get anyone anywhere. Unless your last name is Cena, and in that case it makes me want to piss on your gums, fire or not.

In the back Abraham Washington is shown watching the match with Epico, Primo, and Rosa. Suddenly Mason Ryan walks by and glances at the screen before walking off.

Spoiler Alert: It was reported this morning that Mason Ryan has been added as Ziggler's bodyguard during Live Events over the weekend.

This could be what helps to push Ziggler to the next level. I am looking forward to this unfolding more than anything else going in WWE right now.

Finish: Vickie with the distraction lets Ziggler hit the Zig Zag, 1-2-3.

Winner: Dolph Ziggler

5. John Cena says stuff about Laurinaitis, and I could care less. I tuned out, went to the bathroom, and searched TV Guide Channel for something else to watch on Monday Nights. Seriously, screw this feud.

6. Layla & Kelly Kelly vs Maxine & Natayla

Basic Diva match. Nothing of substance as usual.

Finish: Layla with a neckbreaker to get the win.

Winner: Layla & Kelly Kelly

7. Alberto Del Rio & Chris Jericho vs Sheamus & Randy Orton

First thing I thought about when I saw this match advertised, was I would love to see Sheamus vs Jericho for the World Title. I just have no interest in a Sheamus/Del Rio feud, it does nothing for me, and I want WWE to keep Orton as far away from the Title as possible.

This was a pretty good match. I enjoyed the chemistry these four had with each other, especially the team of Jericho and Del Rio.

Finish: Sheamus goes for the Brogue Kick, but Jericho ducks and Sheamus hits Orton instead. Sheamus then turns into the Codebreaker and eats the pin.

Winners: Chris Jericho & Alberto Del Rio

Post match: Jericho grabs the World Title and says that its his. I guess Jericho is being transferred from feuding for one World Title to the other. Does this mean he will be a Smackdown guy going forward? Not that it matters with the whole Super show concept.

Orton then hits the RKO out of nowhere on Sheamus as a receipt for The Brogue Kick.

After the commercial break Jericho asks Laurinaitis for a Title shot, Del Rio wants one too, Orton shows up and attacks Del Rio as Sheamus gets involved too. In the aftermath a Fatal Four Way match is made for Over The Limit.

This could be a good match, and it puts an end to that Sheamus/Del Rio singles match that I wanted no part of. Works for me.

8. Brodus Clay vs The Miz

Before the match Brodus gives us all a reminder that Mother's Day is on Sunday and we better call our Mommas. The Miz then comes out to bitch about how last year he was The WWE Champion and now he is wrestling Brodus.

As for the match, it was probably the best match Brodus has had on Raw yet. Far from being another squash. I wouldn't mind seeing these guys get a full program together, not like they are using the Miz anyway.

Finish: Brodus catches The Miz with the T-Bone suplex, before nailing the big splash for the pin.

Winner: Brodus Clay

9. Brock Lesnar sends his legal rep to Raw, and it turns out to be none other than PAUL HEYMAN!!

Heyman says that from Day 1 Brock has been mistreated and Unappreciated by The WWE Universe. He talks up Brock's accomplishments in the NCAA, WWE, and UFC before reading a statement from Lesnar. Heyman then announces that Brock Lesnar has Quit WWE, before walking off.

I have no words for happy it makes me to see Heyman back on WWE TV. I just hope that it wasn't a one and done situation. I said from the first time Lesnar stepped back into the WWE, that he needs Heyman as a mouthpiece. Brock Lesnar needs to do what he does best and DESTROY people, not try to fumble through scripted promos. If WWE doesn't hire back Heyman, Brock wont have the same impact as he has had in the past. End of story. Heyman is one of the best talkers in the business, and he could help put over Lesnar on the mic much better than WWE does, or Lesnar himself does for that matter.

10. Handicapped Match: CM Punk vs  Daniel Bryan & Lord Tensai

Before the match, Big Johnny adds Daniel Bryan to the match making it 2 on 1. At least now we only have to see Tensai in the ring for half of the match.

I just cant take Tensai seriously. The guy is so one dimensional. I had heard that he had improved over the years, but I fail to how. He is still just as shitty as he was before. Whats next? The return of Nathan Jones? Who you say? NOBODY, that's who.

Daniel Bryan on the other hand is just now getting into his grove in WWE. The guy has always been great, but he always seemed to lack confidence in himself once making it to WWE TV. That is all gone now, in its place is the guy I saw making his way up the ranks in ROH.  I cant wait to see what Bryan and Punk do at Over The Limit. They have already had three fantastic matches on WWE TV, and those matches were given no time to tell the story these two could tell in the ring together. That match will be worth the price of the PPV alone. 

Finish: Tensai with the Mist, followed by the Claw for the Pin.

Winners:  Daniel Bryan & Lord Tensai

Post Match: Bryan continues the attack on Punk, and slaps on the YES! Lock. The ref breaks it up, but Bryan puts it back on to close the show.

Final Verdict: Not a whole lot of bad, but not much good either. They are building toward some good stuff though; Heyman back on TV, Punk/Bryan, Ziggler getting backup, and Brodus Clay in more than just squash matches. So I give the show a B- overall. They could be making things happen, or it could be window dressing on a vacant building.

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