Tuesday, July 31, 2012

The Raw Review 7/30/2012

WWE Monday Night RAW 7/30/2012
The U.S. Bank Arena Cincinnati, OH

The roof is on fire. 

Tonight's Raw was in question due to a fire on the Raw set. Thankfully, they were able to get it under control in time to get the fans back into the arena before the show started. I am under the assumption that Vince McMahon paid high dollar to the Fire Marshall to OK the show to go on. And to that I say, THANK YOU VINCE'S WALLET!!!!

Why Punk, Why?

Punk targets Jerry Lawler's comments as Raw went off the air last week. The Champ then sits Indian Style on the announce booth. He then calls out Lawler saying that Punk turned his back on the fans last week.

Punk: "This is the WWE, and I am the WWE Champion. Do you understand that Jerry? And what is Rock's response? Nothing. When he battled with Cena, we couldn't shut him up. Now he is silent. And what that means is that however you want to spin this, is fine. The 1,000th Raw ended with how Raw should end, with the focus and spotlight on the WWE Champion. The best wrestler in the world.

Out comes The Big Show.

Show says that he cost Cena the title, and because of him, Cena is the first to cash in the Money in the Bank briefcase and fail. Out comes Cena to attack Show.

General Manager AJ then comes out and announces Big Show vs. John Cena. And, the winner of the match will face CM Punk at Summerslam for the WWE Title

Alberto Del Rio vs Santino

I'm liking the mean streak that Del Rio has been on. Before he was just a Mexican rehash of guys like "The Million Dollar Man" Ted Dibiase, and JBL. This new attitude is really working, and if he keeps it, I don't have a problem with WWE putting him in the Main Event picture.

That being said, I don't like that they used the United States Champion as a sparing dummy for Alberto in this match. Sure as a character Santino draws a lot of sympathy, so it works. And it's not like I give two shits about "The Milan Miracle", But it just further devalues the US Title in my eyes.

Finish: Alberto sends Santino shoulder first into the ring post, followed by a vicious looking arm take down. He then slaps on the Cross Armbreaker to get the submission victory.

Winner:  Alberto Del Rio

Post Match: Del Rio takes the mic and says that Santino is beneath him, and he will not compete unless the World Title is on the line at Summerslam.

This further buried Santino and The US Title, like it could be any lower on the pecking order.

Brodus Clay comes out to dance, Sandow makes a statement

Vicky come to the ring and shows off her "moves"...I move quickly to the bathroom to lose my lunch.

Enter Damien Sandow, who shows everyone what DX did to him last week, before taking out The Funkasaurus.

Sandow is slowly growing on me. Might be his character, might be cancer. I'll keep you up to date on the biopsy results.

Daniel Bryan confronts AJ Lee in her office

They brought up the guys backstage in the white coats from last week, Which surprised me. Were they groomsmen, or were they orderly's from a mental institution? The world may never know.

AJ puts Bryan into a match with Sheamus,  and lets the fans choose what kind of match they will have. Bryan is a sad panda.

From the looks of things, AJ becoming General Manager has knocked at least half of the crazy out of her. We will have to wait and see.

Street Fight: Daniel Bryan vs Sheamus

The WWE Universe Chooses a Street Fight. Why not an Inferno Match? Too Soon?

This was not so much a 'Match', but a pretty damn good fight. Once they made it onto the stage, I was on the edge of my seat. When Bryan kicked Sheamus off of the stage, before diving off with a viscous knee to the face, I was sold. Really good work by both guys.

Finish: Sheamus tries to hit White Noise onto the Steel Steps, which had been placed in the ring. Bryan pushes him off, only to eat a Brogue Kick and get pinned.

Winner: Sheamus

Daniel Bryan calls for a doctor, and the doctor says...

Out comes Kofi and R-Truth, and with them as always is Little Jimmy. After a little back and forth, Bryan kicks Jimmy in his imaginary face. Bryan then brings out the men in white coats from last week to take R-Truth's crazy ass to the loony bin. Out comes AJ, who has Bryan taken away instead.

Well that sure was stupid...moving along.

Kofi Kingston vs Titus O'Neil 

I cant stand Abraham Washington. And it's not "He's doing his job as a heel" hatred, it's "I'm going to murder this guy one day" heat. X-Pac has nothing on AW in that respect. The guy makes me want to turn the channel.

Finish: O'Neil hits the Sky High Powerbomb for the win.

Winner: Titus O'Neil

Randy "Mr. Wellness Policy" Orton vs Heath Slater

Well look who's back. Take that dirt sheets, who thought WWE would let him go instead of having him possibly strike out a third time for a Wellness violation.

Heath Slater did a great job putting over the legends over the last month, and tonight he did the same for Orton. I hate to say it, but the guy is good at his job.

Finish: RKO finishes the Ginger Avenger.

Winner: Randy Orton

Daniel Bryan's psychiatric evaluation: Part 1

The next time I'm facing a padded room, I'm busting out the 'Yes' chant. Seems like a good idea to me.

Chris Jericho & Christian vs Dolph Ziggler & The Miz

It's so strange seeing these four guys face off since they're still better known as heels. And even stranger that Ziggler, who is a heel, picks up so many cheers. I love all four guys though, and because of that I loved this match.

Finish: Spear by Christian to Ziggler! Miz then sends Christian into the post. While Miz and Jericho fight it out, Christian is able to thumb Miz in the eye, which sets up a Codebreaker by Jericho for the win.

Winners: Chris Jericho & Christian

Daniel Bryan's psychiatric evaluation: Part 2

The shrink busts out ye old Rorschach tests.

#Goatface is all I have to say.

Tensai vs Tyson Kidd

Is Tyson the new 123 KIDD? They seem to be playing off of that storyline thus far.

Finish: Baldo Bomb, followed by a Senton Splash equals Kidd loses. Tensai however, continues the beating, which causes the referee to reverse the decision.

Winner: Tyson Kidd

I love Tyson Kidd, and I'm happy that he's finally getting a push in WWE.

Daniel Bryan's psychiatric evaluation: Part 3

The Doctor says...NOT CRAZY!!!

Enter Bryan's Anger Management (Get it?) Therapist Kane, who lays out Bryan.

Number 1 Contender's Match: Big Show vs John Cena

CM Punk joins us for commentary (AWESOME).

This has been a lot like Punk's last heel turn while feuding with Jeff Hardy. He started slowly by doing more heelish acts, and such, this is another case of a slow build for Punk turning villain.

As for the match, Meh. I am beyond tired of seeing these two face off. Their first showdown was in 2004, and it was lame then. It's 2012 WWE, Time to step up your game.

Flashback to 2003:

Finish: Big Show throws Cena into Punk at ringside, who responds by getting in the ring and kicking at both men when Cena has Show up for The Attitude Adjustment.

Winner: No Contest

Post Match: Punk grabs the mic and proclaims that nobody is the winner before walking out. This brings out GM AJ who says that at Summerslam, Punk will defend The WWE Title against BOTH John Cena and The Big Show. Out comes CM Punk to argue with AJ as the show goes off the air.

Final Verdict: I fucking loved this episode, way better than I was expecting by a mile. We got some OK matches and two great ones, a few awesome backstage segments, and Punk's slow build into a heel. An almost perfect line-up to the show that almost wasn't.

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