Tuesday, February 14, 2012

The Raw Review 2/13/2012

1. We open with an Elimination Chamber debate. Oh brother...

Punk, Truth, Ziggler, Miz, Jericho, and Kofi take turns boring the hell out of the crowd. This segment is a train wreck. Then we get to what everyone wants, Punk and Jericho. Lawler tries to get the Jericho/Kingston match underway, but Y2J is more interested in getting into it with Punk and turns right into 'Trouble in Paradise' by Kofi.

2. Chris Jericho vs Kofi Kingston

Kofi is so good at what he does. Why does WWE continue to overlook this guy? Cant wait to see what he does in the Chamber on Sunday.

Jericho catches Kingston in the 'Walls', but he escapes. Jericho argues with the ref and catches his second 'Trouble in Paradise' of the night. Jericho jams a thumb in Kofi's eye and hits the 'Codebreaker' and this one is over.


Winner by Pin: Chris Jericho

3. Zack is back!!! I still smell a Kanyon like heel turn coming from Ryder.

4. Big Johnny and David Otunga backstage. I wonder how much semen Otunga sips from his coffee mug a day? Only John Laurinaitis knows.

5. Randy Orton vs The Big Show

I have about had it with this whole Supershow concept. I dont want Smackdown matches on Raw every week. It just takes away tv time from the younger talent. Do we need a Big Show match on Monday AND Friday?

Speaking of Big Show, they just showed an ad for the 2/28 Smackdown TV tapings that I will be attending in Seattle. The advertised matches are; Daniel Bryan vs The Big Show for the World Heavyweight Title and Randy Orton vs Wade Barrett in a Street Fight.

Back to the match, Orton hits the hangmans DDT on Big Show followed by two RKO's. The first one was a botch. Bryan in from behind with the belt to the back of Orton's head. Then he lays out The Big Show as well.

Winner by DQ: Randy Orton



To say that this guy makes me feel like an 8 year old inside would be an understatement.

'Mr. Wrestlemania' calls Triple H to the ring to get him to accept The Undertaker's challenge.

The Game refuses yet again and continues to play up how he left Taker laying at  Wrestlemania 27. He says that he would have to 'end' him to win the match, and claims to not be 'that guy' anymore.

Shawn calls his friend out for being a sellout and a coward. Hunter tries to walk out and Shawn stops him to continue to berate the man.

Triple H takes the mic and responds with how he has to look out for the business and how the WWE will all be his one day. Hunter claims that Shawn is living vicariously through him, and wants him to do what HBK couldn't, end the streak.

Things look like they're gonna boil over, before Hunter again refuses to take the match.

Shawn stares at Triple H with a disgusted look on his face, before walking out of the ring complete with a disrespectful shoulder bump.

Hunter goes to leave but we get the famous gong noise and the lights go out.

Another awesome package. This time The Undertaker is shown cutting off his hair. Now we know how they plan to explain his baldness.

Just an all around great segment.

7. Dolph Ziggler vs R-Truth


Dolph works his ass off as always, before showing off one too many times and getting rolled up and defeated.

Winner by Pin: R-Truth

8. Stupid backstage comedy between Ryder and Santino. Bad breath. Ha Ha.

9. Tamina vs Brie Bella

The only reason this match is even happening, is to tell everyone that Tamina will be getting a shot against Beth Phoenix on Sunday. Does anyone care?

So that makes a whole four matches signed for the PPV. I predict a shit buyrate, But we all knew that would be the case.

Winner by Pin: Tamina

10. We go to the back where Josh Matthews is set to interview John Cena.

Before they could get underway, a scream is heard from down the hall. Cena runs off to investigate and finds Kane trying to abduct Eve. They brawl but Kane gets the upper hand and tries to flee with Eve in the back of the ambulance.

Eve is able to escape before it pulls away by leaping into Cena's arms. Kane drives off and Eve and Cena share a sloppy kiss.

The camera pans over to find Zack Ryder sitting in his wheelchair with the Candy and roses that he had planned to give that whore Eve.

After the break, Eve catches up with Ryder and tells him she want to 'just be friends'. Are you serious, bro?

11. CM Punk vs The Miz

I like how these guys work with each other. I thought they could have done more in terms of a feud with these two.

How much do you guys wanna bet that the Miz will be sure not to miss any spots in this match, after what happened last week?

The match isn't given much time and before I knew it, it was over. Not only was it short, but they had Miz quickly tap out to the Anaconda Vice. How often does that happen anymore? Someone backstage is sending Miz a message.

Winner by Submission: CM Punk

12. The ambulance is back as we go to a break.

John Cena is out to apologize to Zack Ryder for making out with Eve. Bro's before ho's, John!!!

The fans chant 'We All Hate You' at Cena. Excellent. Cena responds by telling the fans that they dont get it.

Ryder is out. He gets up from his Wheelchair and walks to the ring on crutches. Once inside he knocks the mic out of Cena's hand and slaps him in the face!! Ryder goes to hit Cena, but he blocks and almost throws a punch of his own at Ryder.

That's right, Cena almost punched a guy with a broken back!!

Ryder leaves the ring as Kane shows up to taunt Cena on the Titan Tron. While everyone is distracted, Kane shows up on the stage behind Ryder, Then wheels him off the side Jackass style. Ryder hit hard and they didn't use padding!

Cena runs to check on Ryder as does Eve who cries as he is loaded onto a stretcher for the 100th time this month.


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