Tuesday, February 21, 2012

The Raw Review 2/20/2012

 1. Eve starts the show by revealing that she is indeed a whore, and she was never into Zack Ryder. You know its bad when even the Bella sluts think you're a Ho. Eve says that now she will turn her attention to John Cena. 

All this is brought to light, just as Cena walks into the shot revealing that he is onto her little ruse.

2. John Cena walks to the ring with Eve following right behind. Eve apologizes and claims she didn't mean to be such a dirty, disgusting, brutal, bottom feeding, trash bag hoeski. 

Cena isn't buying it and tells her to move onto The Rock, because "They're both Scandelous bitches". Fantastic.

Eve then tries to kiss Cena, but he is STD free and in the end she only has her tears to keep her company in the middle of the ring.

3. Another Undertaker video is shown. This time the theme is Vengeance. Its funny, you would think that Undertaker had lost that match at WM 27 by how these videos play out. 

4. Tomorrow night on Smackdown Live!, the main event is a rematch between WWE Champion CM Punk and World Heavyweight Champion Daniel Bryan. If they are given time, they could top their last match. Im there!!

5. Sheamus vs Mark Henry

This match looks like Michael Jackson's "Black or White" music video. Just wow.


Typical power match. In the end, Sheamus comes out looking strong heading into Wrestlemania, and Mark Henry wonders what happened to his push.
6. Big Johnny and Teddy Long argue over who will end up the permanent GM.

I cant stand Teddy Long, So Im going for Big Johnny by default.

7. R-Truth & Kofi Kingston vs Epico & Primo

I missed most of this match, but I guess Truth and Kofi are a team now? If not, I would like to know why they went over the Tag Team Champions? 

Winners by Pinfall R-Truth & Kofi Kingston

8. Ron Simmons is going into the WWE HOF!! I love this!! I became a WCW fan the same week that Simmons won the WCW World Title from Vader. In fact, the first segment of WCW TV that I ever saw, was the press conference after he won the belt.

All I have left to say is...DAMN!!!

9. The replay of Chris Jericho getting KO'd last night is shown.

Backstage Jericho is ANGRY!! He says that he was never eliminated from the match and he shouldn't have to compete for a title shot in tonights battle royal. 

I still think that they should have went with Jericho returning during the match last night, and possibly had him walk out of the Chamber with the WWE Title. 

The battle royal feels like they're going through the motions. We all know Jericho is winning tonight.

10. David Otunga vs Ezekiel Jackson

FML. Are you serious, bro? Is this the best they could give us? UGH!! 

Otunga wins clean, which shows how bad Jackson really is.

Winner by Pinfall: David Otunga

11. The Undertaker calls out Triple H!!


I have to say, THIS is what I have wanted to see all week. Old School wrestlers with an old school build, in an old school storyline. I am in wrestling nirvana!!

Taker comes to the ring with a hood covering his lack of cranium foliage. Taker says that HHH is lying to everyone, including himself, and this is the apocalypse!!


Hunter gives a good speech about being the last of their kind, and passing on the business to the next generation. 

Taker responds by calling out Trips over whether or not its bad for business without The Deadman or if its bad for business without the Game on WWE TV.

HHH accuses Taker of wanting him to end it all. Undertaker echos Shawn Michaels and calls Triple H a coward. 

Hunter starts to get upset, but instead again declines the match and leaves the ring.

Undertaker says that HHH wouldn't accept the match because HBK couldn't get it done and deep down, HHH knows that he was never as good as Shawn.

Does the truth hurt?

This brings Hunter back to the ring in a fury. He says HBK couldn't get it done, but he WILL. He accepts the match in...HELL IN A CELL!!!


Taker pulls a Triple H and meekly pats him on the shoulder as he leaves to Metallica's 'The Memory Remains'. 

Awesome. And to those who said this was boring, you dont get it. never will.

12. Daniel Bryan vs Santino

Daniel Bryan!!! YES! YES!! YES!!!

The pre-match promo was almost longer than this match. What was the point of using Santino in the Chamber again?

Winner by Submission: Daniel Bryan

13. John Cena comes back out to say the SAME thing he's been saying about The Rock for the last year. Get some new material dude. Yes he has an entourage, We understand that Rock is Hollywood. 
Cena admits that his own movies suck. 

John Cena is fighting for us!! He is a Professional Wrestler!!

Say What?!!

He says that the greatest day will be April 9th when He is back on Raw, and The Rock is on a movie set laughing at his stunt double.

 I want a stunt double just to review John Cena segments.

Next week we get The Rock live on Raw. Lets see who has the last word when they're once again face to face from Portland, OR!


That being said, lets get #Skankopotamus trending!!
14. Battle Royal for the WWE Title shot at Wrestlemania 28.

CM Punk out to lend his talents to the broadcast booth.

If after Punk's wrestling career is over, he doesn't become a color commentator, I for one will be suprised. He is so good in that role.

I guess this is a co-branded Battle Royal. All the losers from the Chamber matches last night.

Entrants: Big Show, Cody Rhodes, Wade Barrett, R-Truth, Khali, Kofi Kingston, The Miz, Dolph Ziggler, Santino, and Chris Jericho.

First man eliminated is Khali. I laugh as we go to break.

Miz is eliminated. Barrett eliminated, followed by Truth.

Ziggler is tossed onto Barrett and Truth. Wade is seriously injured.

Update: Its a dislocated elbow for Wade Barrett. That injury has made me cringe ever since Eddie Guererro did the same thing in 2000.

Kofi Kingston is eliminated.

The EMT's are out to see to Barrett. This sucks. The guy was just getting his shit together after that horrible CORRE distraction he suffered.

Cobra out and It strikes Jericho!! Santino can win it all!!...Nevermind, Santino is eliminated!!

Cody Rhodes eliminated.

Big Show and Chris Jericho remain.

Cody Rhodes from the outside helps Y2J eliminate The Big Show.

Winner: Chris Jericho

CM Punk gets into the ring to shake Jericho's hand, Which he refuses.

Y2J leaves with a smirk as Punk shows off The WWE Title.


The  End.

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