Tuesday, March 20, 2012

The Raw Review 3/19/2012

1. CM Punk is out to confront Chris Jericho about the comments he made last week concerning his alcoholic father.

Punk starts off by telling everyone that Y2J is not at Raw tonight. He recalls Jericho's comments and says He's pissed off. He says the fact is, his Father beat his demons and He is proud of him.

Chris Jericho appears via the big screen. Y2J mocks being regretful of his comments, before showing his hand and laying into Punk about his sister. He says she has substance abuse problems and will do anything for a fix. Wow!!

Jericho finishes up and smirks at an incensed Punk, who responds with something I couldn't make out because the ENTIRE thing was bleeped!!

Punk then storms out of the ring.

2. Kane vs The Big Show

Haven't I seen this one before? Im pretty sure I have.

Cody is at ringside wearing boxing gloves and we are underway. They brawl for a moment, then Show hits a Spear on Kane. He then goes to the middle rope and Cody distracts The Big Show. Kane hits a chokeslam off the ropes and this one is over.

Winner by pinfall: Kane

Cody hits The Disaster Kick to knock Show loopy. He then cuffs The Giant to the ropes and goes to work with shot after shot.

In the end, Show is left beaten, humiliated...AND ANGRY!!

3. Non-title: Santino vs David Otunga

Not much to cover in this one. The end comes when Santino stomps Big Johnny's Blackberry and is caught with a spinebuster by Otunga.

Winner by Pinfall: David Otunga

Post match, Teddy Long slaps Laurinaitis and bails. Bitch move.

4. We get a promo package for the debut of Lord Tensai (A-Train/Albert). He has 'tattoos' all over his head and I am left wondering, Am I the only one who remembers Hakushi?

5. The Rock is Live at the statue of Rocky Balboa. He lays it all out in true Rock fashion. He shows a picture of himself at the age of 12 standing at that very statue. He mentions the Icons who have paved the way. He talks about Hogan at WM 1, Warrior at WM 6, and Austin at WM 15. He says that he has already beaten Austin and Hogan, so the next man he has to beat is...Please say The Ultimate Warrior...John Cena!! (DOH!!) He says he will beat Cena to fulfill the dream of a 12 year old boy to be recognized as the best. "Yo, Adrian! I Did it!!"

Not the best promo ever from The Rock, but not bad either.

6. Daniel Bryan vs Zack Ryder

Ryder proves that he must have an adamantium skeleton like Wolverine. Its only been a couple months since he "broke his back" at the hands of Kane, and now he is back in action. I dont mean to harp on this, but two weeks ago he was using a cane, and now he's running out onto the stage.

A video of Ryder is shown with him trying to get named to Team Long.

In the ring, Bryan takes it to Ryder. Zack makes a brief comeback, but is caught in the Labell Lock.

Winner by Submission: Daniel Bryan

7. John Cena vs Mark Henry

Power match-up as was expected. Henry looks like a monster, which is suprising the way He has been booked. It's almost like he is swatting flies out there. Henry tosses Cena to the outside, and throws him into the barricade.

More dominating by Henry after the break. Eventually Cena hits the AA, which was very impressive as it always is when he faces a guy twice his size.

Winner by Pinfall: John Cena

After the match, out comes The Rock!! He wastes little time charging to the ring to...hit the Rock Bottom on Mark Henry!! Thats for turning on him when he was the leader of The Nation of Domination, bitch!! What? Oh, he was trying to one up Cena? That makes more sense.

8. We are back with The Miz already in the ring. He gets jobber entrances now? Thats messed up. He mentions how at Wrestlemania 2, King Kong Bundy was in the main event and at Mania 3 he was teamed with midgets. He says that wont be him. Last year he was in the main event and this year he has no match. He wants to be on Team Big Johnny...Out comes Sheamus.

9. The Miz vs Sheamus

We all know who's winning, so fast forward to the end. Sheamus with a hard slam into a pin for a two count. Miz hits the ropes, ducks a Brogue Kick. Hits the ropes again and takes it to the chin (Brogue Kick that is). Second time is the charm. This one is over.

Winner by Pinfall: Sheamus

10. We get an Old School like Interview this week. I dont know how many of you remember the old 80's and early 90's set up, with the interview stage to the right of the entrance way. Now at the right of the ramp, there is a designated "Interview space". Very cool.


Josh Mathews is our Mean Gene for this interview with Randy Orton.

Orton says that last summer, Orton beat Kane so bad that he "Became human" and shook his hand. He says that at Wrestlemania it will be no different. He is not "The Big Red Machine"...He is Randy Orton!!

11. Vicky Guerrero is out to let everyone know that Dolph Ziggler and Jack Swagger have joined Team Big Johnny. I guess Im now pulling for Lauraniatis...Oh yeah, I already was...BECAUSE I F'ING HATE TEDDY LONG!!!!

12. Dolph Ziggler & Jack Swagger vs Kofi Kingston & R-Truth

I missed most of this match...I know, I know. Jeremy missed a Dolph Ziggler match? It happens...Leave me alone!!

I did catch the end, Ziggler hits the Fameasser, Truth has his foot on the ropes and Vicky moves it off to help her team score the win.

Winners: Dolph Ziggler & Jack Swagger

After the match Vicky and Aksana get into a bit of a cat fight, but they are pulled apart by each team. I see them getting into it again at Wrestlemania.

13. Shawn Michales/Triple H/Undertaker confrontation.

HBK comes out and says that the "End of an Era" is just code for "End of the streak", Which brings out The Undertaker.

Taker is on the mic and brings up something about him (HBK) and his buddy (HHH), but its cut off by Triple H making his way to the ring.

Triple H says tells Taker to stop worrying about HBK because as much as Shawn's ego wants this to be about him, it's not. He goes on to say that their careers are mirrored by one thing, Hell in a Cell. There have been 24 Cell matches, and Triple H and Taker have been in 19 of them.

Taker asks if he is willing to put his mind, body, career, family, and life on the line? Triple H says that he is.

Taker goes to leave, but stops short.

He asks if he remembers when he said that HBK was better than him...because he is.

Triple H and Shawn Michales have a stare down to end the show.

I dig how Taker keeps making it about HHH and HBK. He is trying to make the focus about them, so he can swoop in and steal the show in two weeks.


  1. That stat about 24 Hell in the Cell matches blew my mind. I couldn't believe there have been that many. And the fact that Triple H and Undertaker have been part of 19 of them is crazy.

  2. It's both of their legacy. They own that match.