Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Jeremy's Raw Recap

1. Big Johnny opens the show and sucks up like the kiss ass he is. Out comes CM Punk to end our misery. 

Their usual back and forth is interupted by Daniel Bryan. Omg I love him as a heel. Bryan and Punk bicker and I eat it up.

Sheamus out to end the pissing contest. Which title will he go after? No decision is made as instead he makes fun of Laurinaitis.

2. Randy Orton vs Dolph Ziggler

I mark out everytime Ziggler walks to the ring. #Heel

Wade Barrett watches from a skybox as his feud with the Apex Predator continues this week on Smackdown. 

Dolph does what he does best, and makes Orton look great. Vicky does what she does best, and makes me want to vomit. 

RKO to Ziggler and Orton gets the win.

3. Funkasaurus vs Tyler Reks

I love this guy WAY too much, but the squashes need to end. Its time to give him some direction. 

4. Great backstage segment with Punk and Bryan. Champ vs Champ. Straight edge vs Vegan. 

5. Champion vs Champion: CM Punk vs Daniel Bryan.

A handshake to start in true ROH fashion. Hard hitting match between these two great superstars. This is awesome, but am I the only one who is annoyed that this match is being given away for free? If it was me, I would've saved it for a future PPV main event. But whatever. This is the best match Ive seen in a long time on Raw. Punk is starting to perfect that Savage elbow drop.

Jericho in to cause the DQ!! Codebreaker to Punk!!! 

Winner by DQ, Daniel Bryan.

6. Mike Tyson is going into the Hall of Fame. I guess, but what about Randy Savage? Im just about done giving a damn about this phony ass HOF. WE WANT SAVAGE!!!! 

Also why are they not mentioning the fact that Mil Mascaras is being inducted this year? Did I imagine Triple H saying he was the first one going into the class of 2012?

7. Kofi Kingston vs The Miz

R-Truth at the booth. Miz out with a mic to mock Kofi's epic handstand during the Rumble. Off topic, As a devout Bat-fan, I love Kofi's Riddler tights he has worn the last two nights. 

On the subject of tights, has anyone else ever noticed how similar Miz and Kofi's grinning face graphics look alike?

While I was busy talking about two guy's speedos this one was over.

Winner Kofi Kingston

8. Divas Championship: Beth Phoenix vs Eve

Gee, I wonder if Kane will get involved at some point...

This match made Brodus Clay's squash tonight look like an Iron Man Match.

Winner Beth Phoenix

9. Kane on the Titan Tron to scare the crap out of Eve, before coming out to do it in person.

Cena out and hes fired up!! Great intensity as Cena embraces the hate all over Kane's ass. Cena smiles over his actions as he tries to give him an Attitude Adjustment through the booth. Kane escapes and runs off. Great work by Cena to show that Kane's actions are beginning to work.

10. Its time to find out Big Johnny's fate.

Animal's lesser brother gives us his reasons why he should remain employed. 

Its time to play the game!!! 

Triple H basically says Big Johnny was no better than Mike Adamle in his role as GM.

Big Johnny begs Hunter to keep his job and apologizes for the error of his ways. The crowd shits all over the Dynamic Dude's begging. Triple H wonders if Johnny should join a certain club, that wouldnt be PG!! But still, Captain Chapstick is ready and able. HaHa. 

Before Triple H can give his verdict, the bell tolls and its The Undertaker!!

I would be suprised if it wasnt already ruined for me. Assclowns.

No words need to be said, we know what Taker has returned for.

But instead of giving us his response, Triple H just pats him on the shoulder and walks out. Pussy move for a guy who just one month ago reminded everyone that Taker had to be carted out after their match at Wrestlemania 27.


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